Dreamer.....

     This will be a tough one for me to write.   I had the most
unnerving dream last night.   I can't explain why or what
would provoke these sorts of thoughts in my mind.  Faces
were vague but yet somehow I think I know who the people
were.  Those who know me or follow my blog know that
I have upsetting dreams fairly frequently but not many have
had the effect on me that this one had.  And I have no idea
why.
     It started in a group setting.  There were recent friends,
friends from my past,  friends of friends,  just a mixed social
gathering of some sort. As it sort of broke up I found myself
walking alone behind this couple.  As we walked i saw them
brush hands and innocently start holding hands as they walked.
I could tell they were new friends.  I noticed a tattoo on the
young girls hand. A simple square block style tattoo in a pale
blue color.  For some reason it looked odd.  As I got closer I
recognized the guy.  He was a guy I knew well and not the
nicest of person .  For some reason I couldn't help staring at
the girls hands.  They seemed so soft and white next to his
gray almost ashen hand. Love comes in strange forms I guess.
As our paths separated I couldn't help but wonder what the
future could possibly hold for those two.  I walked a couple
blocks further by myself and was was brooding over the fact
that I was alone and that 'guy' was on top of the world.  In
reality I remember that feeling all to well.  My theme song
for quite a few years was 'Someone else's Star' by Bryan White.
But back to the dream......  Anyway.. full of self pity i decided
to take the bus home.  As i boarded the empty bus I noticed
only one other person on the bus clear in the back seat all alone.
As I walked back i noticed  the tattoo on the young girls hand.
Without even thinking I walked over and sat down beside her.
Without even speaking a word she laid her head on my shoulder
and took my hand.  I immediately felt the exchange of pent up
anger and emotions going into my body as if I was draining her
of all of her problems.  It was like a sequence of sorrow, then
fear, then pain,then worries going through my mind.  I had every
emotion imaginable within a five or ten minuet period   Then
as quickly as it started.. it stopped.  I got up to leave and she
looked up at me for the first time and smiled.  I got off the bus
with no idea where I was  (common with most of my dreams)
and started walking.  To where I don't know.. That's when I
woke up.
       It was like a 'Green Mile' thing.. What was my inner self
trying to tell me?  I actually woke up shaking,  my face soaked
from tears.  I did a lot of thinking on the subject today and I
still can't figure out the meaning of this one.  I mean If I'm
going to be selected to be the receptacle for other peoples
grief.. I'm gona need a little help here !!!!   What the old saying
God will never give you more than you can handle..  I just wish
he didn't trust me so much !