The intruder......

   Due to the terrible rash of nice weather lately I have
been forced to spend time at the camper.  What makes
this so hard is that everyone else in the world seems to
be working or busy with summer activities.  That leaves
me stuck in the middle of nowhere with utter peace and
quiet with hardly anyone around.  But I guess that's the
burden I have to bear now and then.  Oh we did have a
little get together the other day which was nice and
informative.  My grand daughters taught me how I should
be fishing, my wife explained to me the finer points of
maintaining a clean camper and stocking of supplies.  I
wasn't even aware of the fact that Spam, Kippered Snacks
saltine crackers beer and a jar of garlic and jalapeno stuffed
olives was not considered a stocked pantry !  After all I had
salt and vinegar and honey bbq chips as a back-up.  Go
figure .. I thought I had it covered.  Plus my son was able
to take the time to properly present his wish list for upcoming
projects.  All in All a good time just the same.
     But now for the intrusion part.  The next morning as I awoke
grabbed my coffee and headed for the little deck just after
daybreak.. just as i closed the door I stopped.  There playing on
the deck of my buddy's camper were two baby groundhogs.
As our eyes met they gave me that 'you aren't supposed to be
here today' look.  I sat down and drank my coffee while they
played always keeping an eye on me just in case.  After a nice
breakfast of clover and such they moved back under his deck
to rest up for the evening session I guess. they're not much for
socializing during the day.. hot sun and all I guess.  Rabbits on
the other hand don't care what time of day it is.  Our campsite is
over run with 'em.. I think they breed like... well like rabbits.  Big
ones mommy ones .. baby ones.. you name it they are represented
in our compound.
       Each year we plant a food plot in the field across from the
campers.  It is a product called Monster Salad.  It is a mixture of
several types of clovers, turnips and such that is supposed to
promote antler growth  in deer.  I see no difference in antlers
but the deer do love it.  The secret is to keep them out of it long
enough for it to mature.  This year we doubled the plot and planted
soybeans in half of it to replenish the minerals in the soil plus deer
love them too.  right now the plots are just coming up nicely so
when we are there we kind of keep an eye out and scoot the deer on
their way until the plants have a chance to develop.  After the rabbit
and groundhog encounter the other day I looked over to see a doe
and a yearling wandering into the food plot.  I walked toward them
while explaining that it wasn't ready yet and the mother gave me a
nasty little grunt (which I'm pretty sure was vulgar) and led her little
one away.  I'm sure they came back under the cloak of darkness and
helped themselves.  They just seemed that type.   Not ten minuets later
after refilling my coffee cup and and settling down in my comfy chair
I look to see two turkeys out scratching up seeds and having a good ole
time.  Off I go again to explain the growth cycle of plants to them only
to find they are being defiant and refuse to leave.  On closer inspection I
notice ten or twelve newly hatched babies in the high grass at the edge.
These mothers are not leaving their little ones and the little ones aren't
really aware of the dangers of a bearded man with a cup of hot coffee
in his hand so I have to wait while they are herded into a group and
moved on to the other three thousand acres abounding with delicious
grasshoppers and such.  I'm pretty sure they'll sneak back in too.
    So as the day goes on and the wildlife kinda retires back into the
thickets for the day I proceed to address another issue concerning
wildlife.  I have noticed recently that a certain bird has chosen to frequent
my rooftop air conditioner.  As hot weather approaches and I have no
desire to spray my camper with diced Starling or whatever I decided
to inspect  the unit and put screen over his point of entry.  So up the ladder
and on the roof I go.. remove the cover and discover just what a busy
bird he has been.  The entire front end of the air conditioning unit is one
large massive nest.  I should have taken a picture but I assure you there
was close to a half bushel of grass ,straw twigs and such formed into
the domed front with a small four or five inch nest in the middle.  Talk
about a fire hazard.  So with the nest removed and the screen in place
all the while being squawked at by an irate black bird on a tree limb
nearby I guess I'm ready to face the summer   My only hope is that all
of those critters don't unite and conciser me the intruder and gang up on me.
I can see the headlines now.....
"LOCAL CAMPER SCRATCHED, TRAMPLED, PECKED AND NIBBLED TO DEATH"
                                                   Film at eleven............