Reality check.....

       Time slips away.  Things sneak up on us.  I'm the first
to admit that I'm not one for paying much attention to
the subtle changes in our lives.   But oh my did I get a
surprise  last week.  Now I know that I lost my hair some
time back and i know I haven't shaved in a coon's age
except for a little trim now and then but what had slipped
by me (maybe through denial) was how out of shape I have
become.  Looking back i have noticed a slight shortness of
breath now and then while out and about, and yes my doctor
has issued constant warnings but my weight has always been
in the same range give or take and my clothes all still fit so
everything must be status quo right ?  
     Then at last weeks Dr appointment he mentioned my weight
which was about the same or so I thought.  He gave me this number
from four months ago which I swear he had confused with my
birth weight.  I don't ever remember weighing that lite since
maybe High School.   Even though I knew it was a typo I made
note of it and vowed to work on it.  Then it happened.  I was on
short train excursion and a friend posted some pictures on Face
Book.   Now if my theory is correct about my weight remaining
constant then surly somebody has found a way to redistribute
my weight from every muscle in my body to my belly.  I know
I have always been heavy and I've learned to deal with that but
I think I'm now seeing the answer to some of my problems.
      Starting a while back I starting having problem with droopy
drawers.    Now I'm not into the 'sagging' scene so I started wearing
suspenders under my hoodies when out hiking or cutting wood  and
such to help alleviate the problem.  Then the other day as I was
carrying groceries through the kitchen I completely lost my shorts
to my ankles because of the lack of a belt.   Embarrassing .  So I
decided to do a little research.  Seems the situation is that now my
body has formed into an upside down triangle incapable of retaining
any form of pants belt or shorts.  Obviously I must have lost my @$$
in a poker game when I was younger because it too has lost any
retention factor.   Two options came to mind.. either I lose some weight
or I contact the Kardashions and have them  recommend an implant specialist.
     So I guess it's finally time to behave.  The problem is will power.. I have
none!  Plus I have no motivation.  Maybe if I could find a sweet young lady
to inspire me I might be motivated  but I seriously doubt if my wife would
let me keep her so that's out.  So I guess I'm in this on my own unless I want
to end up looking like a frog standing up with a leisure suit on.   One more
attempt at mission impossible !