The dot on the spoon.....

     Everyone has a favorite.   Okay maybe not everyone ...  Okay maybe it's just me.  But yes I have a favorite spoon.  I'm talking large mixing spoon of course.  Well truth be known I have a favorite soup spoon and a favorite fork too but that's a subject for another post. (I am open to any and all butter knives)  This spoon that I speak of is light in color, plastic of some sort and probably forty years old.  It is much more rigid that the newer more expensive spoons we have purchased over the years and has eluded several attempts of being replaced or discarded over time.  Even the bamboo set that tried to displace it failed.  It's sturdier than most .. A tad deeper than most and just the perfect curvature for cleaning out the bottom edges of bowls and pots.   Ahh yes .. it is perfection.

     So several years ago it developed a small spot on the underside of the spoon part.  At first, I thought it was a scorch mark, possibly a bit of embedded food particles or something but I couldn't seem to get it off..  No problem .. It was still perfect in my eyes.

     Fast forward to last week when I commented on a friends (I hope still friend  lol ) post about dishwashers vs hand washing dishes (which I lost miserably by the way )  I was doing my nightly dishwashing chore (by hand of course) and pulled my spoon from the hot soapy depths of the sink.  Instinctively I started to scrub on the spot just like I have done at least a million times over the years getting the exact same results that I have in just as many attempts.  How many attempts will it take?  

     Maybe it was the warmth of the water, the scent of the dish soap or maybe just my inability to concentrate on any subject for more than five milliseconds, but my mind wandered off (again)   

     I wonder how many things in our lives we have marked in some way that we can never erase, yet we attempt to rectify every chance we get.  Something we said.  Something we did, Somethings we never said but should have.   Having lost both parents way too early I would love to be able to share some thoughts with them both and thank them for leading me down the right path.  But there are so many things that, like the spot on my spoon, can't be erased.  Things I know I have no control over and no amount of scrubbing is going to erase from my memory.   Old friends, unwise decisions and such,  All will be scrubbed vigorously each and every time they come to mind but I hold no hope of making them disappear if past experience holds true.   But then maybe that's not a bad thing.  After all me and my spoon still have a pretty tight bond despite the scars.