Betcha thought..I forgot about this blog. Nope. It's just
been a combination of laziness, illness and experimenting
with other avenues of releasing my inner self to the cyber world.
The beeping is the sound of my back-up alarm as I back my
truck up to the dumpster. It's time to unload a few things.
1) Nine days into the new year and I've visited three Doctors
already.. Had one procedure done..another scheduled for
next week... three prescriptions changed.. two new ones
proposed and two new appointments made. I'm tired !
I've given up. I truly do not care anymore. I just want out!
This is not a death wish or suicide threat.. don't get me
wrong.. I want to live forever ... just not like this. I'm
simply ranting out of frustration. I'm thinking of going
with homeopathic treatments and deep prayer for my
ailments. I think I'm better than the medical field. Maybe
a turmeric, beets, wild roots and insect larvae diet is the
answer. How much worse of could it be ? Ok.. maybe a
little chocolate on occasion. .....
2) I have mental issues. There I said it ! I have lost complete
control of my 'comprehension capabilities' I can no longer
even start to understand the reasoning behind not only our
politicians, but people in general. My mind actually, physically
hurts after reading some of the stuff that people that I really
thought I knew well, write in the comments of social media
posts. Not the opinions.. I can understand that.. but the
absolutely vulgar and mean comments directed at previously
good friends. Luckily I've been behaving so I haven't been a
target but still what I read just blows my mind.
3) This one may tie in with the previous one but... I'm scared !
I'm scared of how easily I'm triggered anymore. I was
always the most easy going happy go lucky guy in the world.
Most time I still am. But the winds they are a changing. I
don't like that have confrontations with doctors.. I hate that
I get pulled into political discussions when I realize I am
being baited and do it anyway. I went through a similar period
years ago and ended up getting into mischief on picket lines
and marches in Washington and although at the time I felt
It was the right thing It just never felt 'right' inside. Maybe I'm
just a non-confrontational person. But sometimes things are
just to important to stand by and be quiet. I hate the fact that
I see those times coming back. I'm scared. I want to be
healthy and happy again. I want the hate to go away Thinking
maybe I just need a hug !... or a hundred... :-))
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