psttt Over here .. on the edge !

  That's right.. come on out.  A little further.  I'm not
just on the edge.. I'm way out here  on the tip of the edge.
Come on out .. Don't be scared.  I'm out here on the tip
that's cracked and hanging loose from the world.  You
know, the slippery one. 
   I've found out in the last couple days what a person must
go through when he or she is put into a nursing home later
in life.  No car, no escape, no contact with the outside world.
just windows to look out of and not much else.
   It's all coming to a head today.  It's probably all in my head
( I couldn't spell psychological ) but after only three days I
am a total wreck.  My shoulders ache, the joints in my hands
have shooting pains in them, my hips feel like they need
replaced, my socks are too tight, the elastic in my sweat pants
(they make us wear them here ) keep creeping up over my calves
and my head is fuzzy and needs a shave but I don't think I can
lift my arms high enough to do it.  Add to that the fact that the
soup I had for lunch must have been loaded with sodium because
I've had this unquenchable thirst  all day.  I tried coffee, it made
me jittery.  I had Orange juice, it gave me acid indigestion.  I
had chocolate milk, lactose intolerant.  I've tried tap water, ice
water, Diet coke and club soda to the point that I feel like a
liquid filled piñata being poked at by a hundred kids with sharp
sticks.  I would go soak in the tub to relieve my pains but I
would probably end up drinking the bath water.
    So today has consisted of going from the computer chair to
the recliner to the sofa and back to the computer chair.  All
of the projects I have going on either include grinding, welding or
some sort of power tools and not even I dare do those things in
the basement so I am pretty much limited.  I think I have sent messages
to every person in the free world today.  I have sent texts to people I
haven't spoken to in five years and even friended some people that
I'm not quite sure I remember.  I'm bored.. feel terrible and just  want
to escape.  I'd love to jump in the boat, open up the throttle and ride
away into the sun but the boats frozen in storage and the sun is someplace
in Australia right about now.  I know .. how about a fifty five gallon
drum of Calgon  !!    Take me away !!!!!